Behaviour is socially contagious. What you do with that information is up to you.
But understanding this can help make a huge difference in how you launch, market, and get buy in for your ideas. Or how well you are respected, supported, and connected in a community.
For example, if you listen well to others online and off, they are more inclined to listen to you. If you take situations in a measured, drama-free way, most people will follow your tone and become calmer, even if they are emotional. You can lead others to treat you with respect.
The same is true of making fences around interactions. If you make a habit of picking and choosing people, excluding, gatekeeping, leaving people out, and creating hierarchy, others will reinforce that. Which can be comforting to insecure people, bullies, and those who really enjoy a fandom over a friendship. But be warned, when you teach people this kind of relating is acceptable that you don’t end up on the receiving end. Because choosing to leave people out, especially if the hang up is yours rather than something to do with them, might mean people adopt the habit of doing it, too – and change target to you.
If you employ shame and scarcity to motivate people, like in sales and marketing your stuff, don’t be surprised if the customers you attract are way more difficult to handle. After all, using their anxieties to get them to act means they’re usually pretty anxious when dealing with you. There’s nothing like feeling forced to make the start of a relationship rocky AF!
And if you’re always judging others, their actions, and celebrating when problems befall them, what do you think will come back to haunt you? That same nit-picking, perfectionism, and all-or-nothing thinking may not be reflected in the actions and commentary of others. Although it might. But it will stifle your own ability to innovate, take risks, and risk your own humiliation as your own words echo around your head.
Even the more positive moments get cross-pollinated.
A brand new idea can struggle to find an audience until they can see other people engaging with it. If someone is successful in one area, we often give them more grace in a new area than someone who might have greater expertise but is unknown.
If you’re self-assured or self-conscious, others will bring a like-minded self-image to you.
But if you hang out with people who aren’t afraid to try, giving it a shot won’t be such an unusual leap. If you find creatives, freelancers, doers and dreamers who are okay with experimentation, embrace play, are happy to chat about ideas, comfortable with normalising their pain, you can be raised up by this, too. If you lack the confidence in yourself, being around the right attitudes can open doors for you.
Want to experience positive social contagion?
Here are some of my current favourite communities for positive vibes.
The Freelance Jungle
Australia and New Zealand
https://www.facebook.com/groups/freelancejungle/
https://freelancejungle.com.au/
Rachel’s List
Australian writers.
Australian Community Managers Forum
https://www.facebook.com/groups/200096070008554
South Coast Arts
For creatives from Wollongong to Ulladulla
https://southcoastarts.org.au/
SECNA (Social Enterprise Council of NSW and ACT)
Where do you find uplifting people? What are the places and people you avoid?