Learning to let go is a creative skill

Too many people, especially creatives, view the end of something as a failure. But projects, ideas, collaborative relationships, freelancing careers, client relationships, and businesses all have a natural death.

Letting them occur without resistance is healthy. That death doesn’t have to be negative.

It also means we shouldn’t snicker, smirk or gossip when it occurs.

When we choose to let go of an idea, it is an act of bravery that recognises:

• Its not working anymore
• We want to go out on top
• The idea has reached its limits
• The idea is no longer interesting
• The hypothesis has been tested as much as it can be
• Something else looks more inviting
• Space needs to be made for other things
• The market or audience appetite has shifted
• A certain shine has faded
• Another of imagination’s sirens is calling
• The idea is attracting too many laggards and not enough optimists
• The output is too small for the input required
• Outgrowing an idea or an idea outgrowing you is not a bad thing
• Curiosity calls for a different adventure
• The audience has aged out
• The audience cares about other things
• The audience isn’t the only reason to create
• It isn’t financially, socially, emotionally, physically or psychologically viable to keep going
• It is time to rest before the next idea comes along
• The season has run its course

Whether by choice or design, moving on is an act of bravery. It is an act that:

• Reaffirms your boundaries
• Signals your integrity is your guide
• Opens doors to new ideas, phases, and levels of life
• Can balance gratitude with constraint well
• Doesn’t allow sentimentality cloud judgement
• Welcomes and appreciates growth
• Affirms your leadership in your creative life

Besides, if you stick with people, projects, and places that are no longer suitable, necessary, viable, or positive, you:

• Get angrier and more resentful about the state of things
• Risk rumination, paranoia, and/or a reduction in self-belief
• Lose the connection to the good times by replacing them with a focus on the bad
• Increase the chance of a crisis of confidence through continued mismatch
• Allow negative forces to define you
• Aren’t releasing that idea to find its own next adventure
• May be focused on what people think over what you need

Learning to love the finite nature of even the most cherished, nourishing, and previously empowering situation can be one of the hardest experiences in life. But that pain is worth it. Because the better we get at finishing things, the more ready we are for the next wonderful idea.

What to say at the death of someone else’s idea

We have a deeply embedded idea in society that we must find a direction, level up in that direction, and deviation means you couldn’t hack it or something negative about your character.

What utter horseshit.

The fork in the project road is three-pronged:

• Persist – stay the course, double down, keep going
• Pause – stop and reflect on what is happening
• Pivot – recognise the time for change and pivot away from what is current or towards something else

Knowing which fork in the road feels right for us needs to be valued as the skill it is. It needs to be normalised that things simply don’t run forever.

As friends to our fellow creatives, we owe each other to make sure we create a space of safety around other people’s choices and decisions.

We can create that much needed space to let go by:

• Admiring the bravery it took for them to commit – and to walk away
• Sharing the moments we admired on their idea’s journey – and wishing them more of the same wither whatever they try next
• Holding space for their pain, grief, discomfort, and sadness – and affirming they are making the right decision to let go
• Celebrating their decision to do a hard thing in letting go – and rewarding that courage with solidarity and acceptance
• Reaffirming the strengths they showed throughout the last idea – and reconnecting them with those strengths for the road ahead

Don’t forget to celebrate the end of a creative era

Whether you are helping someone let go or you are the person letting go of an idea, you can help send off the idea well by:

1. Grieving it will no longer be in your life
2. Acknowledging the lessons, love, light, laughter it gave you
3. Thanking it for what it gave you and the role it played
4. Wishing it well
5. Setting it free

Letting go is a skill. It should be celebrated, nurtured, and integrated into a happy, positive life.

Need help letting go and to make a change?

If you’ve been trying to let go for a while but keep getting stuck on the rocks, How to Make a Change: Shaking off the change scaries to own your next move is here. It explains what change is, why it can be challenging, and how to work through it. It covers preparing for change, defining your goals, understanding and managing resistance, building resilience and optimism, creating lasting habits, communicating change to others, finding support, and maintaining self-care. It also highlights the value of unsuccessful changes, provides a simple recap, and offers resources for further help and reading.