17 things that will not help you with freelance marketing

Freelance marketing can be a tough gig at times. Everyone seems to have an opinion on what you should do. At the Freelance Jungle, we like to zig while the others zag.

 

Here are the 17 things that will not help you with your freelance marketing

 

Dogs- because they are so pleased with everything, their feedback is next to useless

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Cats- because they are so unimpressed with everything, they’ll never sign off on it

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Babies- they’re only here to interrupt you while you try to do it

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Clients- yeah, they love a good interruption session too

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Those biscuits you ate at your desk- crumbs in the keyboard make it difficult to type

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Great Aunt Judy- she’s lucky if she knows what you do, let alone how to sell it to anyone

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Social media – ironically, the biggest thing standing in between you and your freelance marketing is the time you spend on social media

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Your office pot plant- it’s barely holding on to life, let alone feeling creative

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Your freelance nemesis- only to be used as a process of elimination from what you should not do

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The random 5-minute expert – The person who insists they know what you should do after 5 minutes is not your friend

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Mansplainer in a Facebook group – best not to give that guy any more encouragement

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Netflix- no matter how many times you re-watch Vampire Diaries, freelance marketing inspiration will not be coming forth from here

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The doona- there is no escaping this so you may as well come out of the blankie fort

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Your vision board – we all know that’s just a fancy way for saying adults who play collage with magazines

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Random door knockers- for people fronting up to pedal their wares, they can be surprisingly uninterested in yours

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Being drunk – Mad Men lied to us about inspiration striking after the morning whisky

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Most in-laws – no matter how many times you explain it, they still think you watch TV and eat chips for a living. And nobody needs to market that

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