The man from the distracted boyfriend stock photo has released his memoir, revealing he’d rather return to the days of his pre-internet fame. Entitled “I’d rather hit it all away”, the memoir discusses the lingering effects of becoming a popular meme.
“I can no longer look over my shoulder without anyone papping me,” the forlorn meme sensation claimed.
“It was some bit part job to pay the bills. But it’s ruined so much of my life. Women won’t date me in case I get wandering eye. People keep yelling, “are you distracted now, buddy?” when I am walking in their street. Passersby accuse me of eyeballing everything from their dog from their missus. My life is a viral parody!”
Not only has the internet meme sensation lingered longer than even we hoped he would, it’s taken a toll on his body.
“I’m so pigeon-holed, no one will hire me for any other stock photo gigs. I am reduced to pimping myself out to be distracted by everything. And sure, I am in hot demand at tech event red carpets and get a lot of work acting as a breakup telegram from dudebros who think being a spineless jerk is funny. But my chiropractor has warned that the human spine is not designed to perform so much over-the-shoulder glancing. And if I don’t find another line of work soon, my vertebrae will collapse like a jenga tower and give way entirely!”
The ‘I’d rather hit it all away’ book and distracted meet and greet tour kicks off September19th. Check with your local book distributors or favourite meme outlets for details.
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