If you noticed a strange, white and blue light above Freelance Valley today, you’re not alone! Many residents stopped and stared as the blazing, jagged light formed. Hats were ripped from heads and many reported cold, skyward winds pulling at scarves, hair, and glasses in the moments prior to the phenomena forming.
Dr Karl Knowseverythingski explains, “What we’re seeing is an upward pressure on deadlines as they whizz past, looking for a safe passage away from freelancer projects. This upward pressure forms a ball of energy that pushes on the atmosphere. Essentially, what we’re seeing is a rip in the time-space continuum.”
“Add pressure from clients and rhetoric from business coaches, and it builds up the well wishes and freelance tears to form electronic condensation. At some point, something somewhere has to break. And here it is – a rip in the time-space continuum based on too much magical thinking and not enough practicality.”
Asked what we can do about such events, the good Doctor had a chuckle and then had this to say.
“Oh, I only deal in science. Human nature is definitely not my bag! But what I will say is now this has begun; you can expect to see more of the same activity. We all know freelancers are especially prone to setting themselves deadlines that rely on an unachievable best-case scenario.”
He offered some small tips for prevention:
“Try to plan as though you are a human being instead of some sort of super robot. And learn how to say no to cooked ideas and starry-eyed clients.”
The unnaturally occurring phenomena will be visible to the naked eye until freelancers get a grip on their capabilities.
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